So I didn't get any job offers from Yuba or Butte colleges. *sigh* The closest I got was a retracted interview offer from Butte College for an instructor position when the filled the job so quickly I didn't even get a chance to prove why I'd be great for the job. I actually haven't felt as devastated as I thought I would feel, probably because as fall semester crept closer I was realizing that it was getting less and less likely that I would be hired. And of course I still have a full time job with benefits to be grateful for and a great work environment.

So all and all I feel like I've been handling the disappointment well. But today I just got so burnt out, so self-doubting, feeling so lazy as a counselor, perhaps because my passion just wasn't there. There are times where I love my job, and it feels good to have people thank you for helping them. But there's even more times where I'm so overwhelmed inside by these kids and these families that I think to myself, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

I'm tempted to go the route of self-pity and just content myself with doing the minimum, but that's not who I am. I'm determined to get better at my job, learn more, and find a way to get my passion back. This disappointment is a setback, but maybe it's a wake up call too. God's keeping me here for a reason, and maybe there's still more people that this rookie counselor can help yet. Please pray for me to stay positive.