So most of you probably know I recently got a job with Catalyst Domestic Violence Services. I've been starting training this last week and have been SO impressed with the organization as a whole. I thought I knew what God's plan was here, but I was in for a surprise this week.
I had explained to my supervisor at Catalyst that I needed to look for a county job for the stipend program, and that this job unfortunately didn't fulfill that requirement. Also, the job is only 26 hours/week so financially I would have to find a second job. She was okay with that and hired me, which was so great! At least I had a source of income now that my unemployment had run out, so I was really excited just to be offered this position.
I had already put out several applications in December/January so in the last couple weeks I was getting phone calls to set up interviews. I actually had 3 interviews scheduled in a 1 week period! It was crazy. Well the first of those 3 interviews was on Thursday for an agency called Counseling Solutions that I had never heard of. I had found the ad on craigslist and assumed it was private practice. I needed a job, any job at the time so I applied and didn't put much stock in it.
The interview was at 10am and I had gotten very little sleep the night before, so I was exhausted. I didn't even want to go, this job was my least priority of the three, and I couldn't wait for it to be over so I could come home and rest a little while before starting a full day of work at my new job.
It was one of the most intimidating interviews I had ever experienced! I was given a vignette and told I would be asked questions about how I would treat the family described. Dad's beating mom and the 3 kids, parents have a possible drug history, now they all need therapy. The two people that interviewed me asked really specific questions that they had specific answers they wanted to hear.
What are the clinical issues in the case?
How would you gather information to treat this family?
What possible diagnoses would you make?
How would you go about treatment?
I thought I knew what I was doing, but occasionally they would say things like "We're looking for one more thing, I think you know this." Of course I'm thinking, "I don't have a clue!" Towards the end of the interview, I asked if there would be second interviews and what the timeline for hiring would be. The lady replied "I don't know if I'll be giving you a second interview."
Great. Nice confidence boost. All I want is to go home and sleep. She gives me a tour of the place, and all the while I'm thinking "This is pointless. They're not going to hire me, this place is intimidating, I don't want to work here." I go to the lobby to fill out an application with my references and finally I'm almost out the door. Then the lady comes back out and says "Can I ask you a frank question, are you interested in the position?" No. This place is way out of my league. No way I'm qualified.
"Yeah," I replied.
A minute later, she comes out again and asks if I can come back to their office again. What, am I in trouble? Does she suspect I'm not being truthful about wanting the job? I'm so confused. They tell me this is "unorthodox" and why don't I have a seat. I have no idea what this is about.
"We'd like to offer you the position."
WHAT???? All I wanted was a nap, and they're offering me a JOB??? I was scared out of my mind at this prospect. This agency counsels families in which kids have been taken away by CPS. I have limited experience with children, have never counseled families, and this is WAY too much responsibility for a newbie like me. What the heck do they see in me?
They go on to say that they were going to interview 13 other people, but the lady knew from the second question I answered that I was a good fit. What the heck was the second question? Of course, I express that I'm very grateful for the offer and ask for a day to process it. They gladly comply and talk about a benefits package, how many paid days off I get per year, health insurance, scheduling. This is all moving way too fast. Oh yeah, and here's the real kicker. Turns out the agency is completely county-funded and is a perfect match to fulfill my stipend obligation.
On my drive home, my mind is buzzing and all I can think is "I don't want to be a therapist." I tell Dustin when I get home "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up." Kind of pathetic from a 27 year old.
So I spent my shift at Catalyst comparing jobs, considering the options. It's a grueling process and even the next day I'm not sure what I'm going to do. All I can think is what if I screw up these kids more, what if I reunify a family that's not ready. What if I'm not a good therapist, what if I get fired, what if what if what if . . . .
I took the job.
I still have an inferiority complex, still feel like I'm not worthy of this opportunity, but I decided it's better to give it a shot than to stay in my comfort zone. I know I can do this, but it's hard to BELIEVE I can do this. But if they saw something in me, maybe I need to see it too.
So please pray for me as I go into this new venture! I want to help these families heal and be a good employee, but I know I can't do it alone. Another reminder that life is what happens while you're busy making other plans!
